Things that disgust me- Fucking hipsters!

There are so many things in this world that piss me off, it's really hard to narrow it down to one at a time. Fat people, obese people, morbidly obese people, people who are fat- all these things make me fucking angry as the angriest anal you've ever witnessed or received- but at the top of the list sits the vilest thing I can think of, and trust me, you better have your pants pulled up when I tell you what it is or else you're going to propel that jizz sick off your emaciated little hog with such a fierce expulsion of liquid man that you'll still be pulling crusty threads out of your ceiling a month from now.

I'm talking about guys who look even remotely like this.


God damned, mother fucking, shit-eating hipsters. Men do not dress like that. Pretentious rectum suckers whose breath reeks of shit and spoiled milk dress like that.

I fucking hate hipsters with all of the rage that Odin has granted me, which is shit-tons because once I saved his ass from being gang-raped by a pack of half-nigerian Visigoths who caught him beating off in the bushes outside their village chief's 5 year old son's bath house. When he asked me what I wanted as a reward, I said "A member that has the heft, length, girth, and exact shape of Mjolnir, all 42.7 pounds!" to which Odin replied, "Done and done, when you again step foot in the land of your kin, it will be as you asked!" But turns out my dong was already that size, so the bastard didn't do shit for me and he knew it all along, letting me waste my reward.

If I still had that reward, I would ask for the chance to rip every hipster asshole's asshole asunder with the stoutest tree freshly felled from the Nordic forests of my homeland. The friction of pounding hipster rectum would steadily grind the tree down, until finally every hipster anus in existence would be prolapsed and full of splinters, and all I would be left with is a tooth pick to gouge out all their stupid fucking retarded eyeballs. Then I'd tie all their prolapsed rectums together into the biggest mop the world has ever seen and use it to wipe wherever the fuck gypsies and those Russians that wear poofy shirts come from off the map.