Viking Burning Questions- An Issue of Mercy

A fellow warrior, bear-destroyer, and inventor of the battering ram made entirely out of real rams has put forth the following question; when, if ever, is it acceptable for a Viking to show mercy? Let us go to the annals of Viking lore and peruse the leaflet called "Viking Mercy Through the Ages." It's only three pages long and two of the pages are covered with drawings of Thor in scrubs volunteering at the Visigoth planned parenthood clinic mercifully giving battle-axe abortions for free. But we're interested in the concrete warrior examples of mercy, of which there is exactly one.

The circumstance arose around 1400 BC when Odin was but a young God. The story goes that supposedly he was out in the woods kicking trees in half like in KickBoxer or Bloodsport, whichever one Van Damme was kicking that tree until his shins were bloody, and the mightiest of all Bear warriors, Bearicules, charged him from behind in a shameful display of cowardice. Well Odin "rose mightily to the challenge, becoming immediately and powerfully berserk" (his words), and vanquished Bearicules. He provided this picture as proof-


The sad truth is that Bearicules had failed to protect his Shogun and had committed honorable suicided by falling on his sword earlier that day. Odin had simply stumbled across the scene while hiding and crying about Ragnarok and snapped a picture, then used Loki's pirated copy of Photoshop to edit it to his advantage. Loki immediately sensed something was up and FTP'd into Odin's laptop and found that it's a composite of these two photos-

Bearicules after his honorable suicide.

Odin's senior yearbook photo, taken while Thor was off fighting in the Viking Vietnam. Notice the draft-dodger smirk on his pasty, beardless face.

What does this have to do with mercy? Vikings don't show mercy; not even to Odin, and not even in the pettiest of things like exposing a photoshopped victory.