I recently decided to dig all my old wrestling games out of the closet and do some reviews because someone told me that wrestlers were like modern day vikings except that they don't have long boats, don't know how to row, and rarely have beards or anything else that a Viking would have. This person probably meant
in spirit, which is what you say when something is absolutely nothing like something else but you really, really wish it were.
First up is a classic- the one that started it all, and I'm pretty sure the first and last wrestling game to ever be rated T for teen. After that they started putting in all the good stuff like fake-titty battles and sized all the men's shorts down to pre-teen so any boners could immediately be disqualified or hit with a chair, depending on which direction the ref is facing.
Next is my personal favorite in the series. This one is where the mechanics of wrestling games really got refined to a point that has yet to be surpassed. By this I mean that while your guy is laying on the ground for 5 minutes after a kick to the face that missed by a good 3 feet you get to mash your buttons rhythmically instead of just hammering on them willy nilly. The back of the box even boasts "GIVES WILLY NILLY BUTTON MASHING A FLYING ELBOW!!" as a bullet point, although unless that's the game's finishing move it's not going to do anything more than build up Willy Nilly Button Mashing's rage meter while slightly annoying him.
The controversial 3rd entry in the series took it in a more sim-like direction. People didn't like the micro-managing of taping your balls to your wiener between matches to keep it from flopping out of your shorts (assuming you had a wrestler with a high enough flop stat to have to worry about it) and the constant monitoring of jerry-curl juice levels.
The last one I played before I lost interest in wrestling games and moved on to Kart racers. A lackluster end to the series if you ask me. There was too much of an emphasis on close-talking and jabba-jawing, and not nearly enough emphasis on modeling dongs and asses for hilarious pantsing maneuvers- all the wieners and asses were super blocky like a N64 game. John Cena deserved better than a Lego dong.
First up is a classic- the one that started it all, and I'm pretty sure the first and last wrestling game to ever be rated T for teen. After that they started putting in all the good stuff like fake-titty battles and sized all the men's shorts down to pre-teen so any boners could immediately be disqualified or hit with a chair, depending on which direction the ref is facing.
Next is my personal favorite in the series. This one is where the mechanics of wrestling games really got refined to a point that has yet to be surpassed. By this I mean that while your guy is laying on the ground for 5 minutes after a kick to the face that missed by a good 3 feet you get to mash your buttons rhythmically instead of just hammering on them willy nilly. The back of the box even boasts "GIVES WILLY NILLY BUTTON MASHING A FLYING ELBOW!!" as a bullet point, although unless that's the game's finishing move it's not going to do anything more than build up Willy Nilly Button Mashing's rage meter while slightly annoying him.
The controversial 3rd entry in the series took it in a more sim-like direction. People didn't like the micro-managing of taping your balls to your wiener between matches to keep it from flopping out of your shorts (assuming you had a wrestler with a high enough flop stat to have to worry about it) and the constant monitoring of jerry-curl juice levels.
The last one I played before I lost interest in wrestling games and moved on to Kart racers. A lackluster end to the series if you ask me. There was too much of an emphasis on close-talking and jabba-jawing, and not nearly enough emphasis on modeling dongs and asses for hilarious pantsing maneuvers- all the wieners and asses were super blocky like a N64 game. John Cena deserved better than a Lego dong.
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